A Big Decision for Anna- Throwing Away the “paci”

4/5/13

Anna has sucked on her pacifier since about day she was born. She loved that thing and has needed it to sooth her many times. When she just started to speak she began calling it her “paci’. Many people told us to get rid of it when she was little, and maybe it would have worked out, but after considering we felt she still benefited from it. She was a child that got really emotional and had a hard time calming down. I remember many times when she was only a toddler and not able to express her frustrations, she would get so upset that she would run into her room, lay on her bed and suck on her paci as a means for calming herself down. When she had calmed down she would put her paci back on her pillow and come out happy again; we had a rule that the paci had to stay on her pillow. . It was something that Anna knew would sooth her so it was a great help for her when she was so young. She would also suck on it to go to calm herself in order to go to sleep at naps and at night.

The one thing that was terrible about it is the fact that she would wake us up in the middle of the night,, crying, when she lost it. We would have to go into her room time and time again searching blankets and under the bed for that devil of a thing. But we eventually got smart and resolved that by tying a “paci bucket” to her bed post where we kept several pacifiers so that she learned to just grab another if she lost one and allowed us to sleep.

When she was close to three years old her vocabulary had greatly improved. She could express herself fairly well, could have a conversation with us and we could reason with her. We could tell her why we did the things we did, and she understood. And she could control her emotions a lot more. At this point we decided that she did not need her beloved pacifier anymore and that she was mature enough to deal with life without it. Yet, we did not want to rip it out of her hands; we wanted her to make the decision to do away with it on her own. We told her that when she was ready she could throw them in the trash and when she did we would buy her a doll. She always replied, with a concerned look on her face, “No, I don’t want to throw my pacis away,” and she clung to them, so we just said, “Ok, you can keep them until you are ready.” When we watched the trash truck take the trash away, a favorite activity of the girls, I would comment that the trash man takes our trash away forever and we never see it again; just to make sure she knew that when she did throw something away it was permanent. 

Then one afternoon last week, out of the blue, while we were watching the trash truck empty the dumpster, Anna said, “mama, I want to throw my pacis away now.” I was shocked, I don’t think I was ready for it and said, “Anna are you sure? You will never have them again. Are you sure you want to do this?” She kept telling me yes. Then I realized what I was saying I thought, why am I trying to talk her out if it? If she is willing let’s do it now. So we gathered up all her pacifiers, six of them, and walked over to the big dumpster which was just emptied. Anna wanted me to lift her up and watch as she dropped them in one by one. After she did we all yelled, “hurray!” Then we jumped in the car to go get a doll. She was all smiles.

The thing that amazed me was when night came I thought she would have a really hard time falling asleep and cry and ask for her paci but she didn’t. All she said was, “I don’t know how to fall asleep without my paci,” I told her that she would have to practice and she would learn. She has never asked for her pacifiers since. I believe that because it was her that made the decision that she accepted the consequences and was ready to do live without it. She grew up a little more that day.