My baby rejected me when I went to nurse her. She pushed my breast away and kind of stuck out her tongue and gave me a dirty look; and I knew she was hungry! I couldn’t believe it! I tried again all day, and she rejected me each time, but she would take my breast milk in a bottle fine. So I pumped hoping she was just having an off day. Nope, she refused again all day yesterday, and when I tried to nurse her when she was half asleep to my surprise she flung herself from me and just sat there with her back toward me as if to say, “Mama, I know you want to nurse me still but I am done.” I realized it was over and I cried. I don’t even know why I got so emotional about it because I hate pumping at work and I thought I was ready to wean. My goal was to get to 10 months at least, and get past respiratory season, and here we are, she will be 10 months next week and it is getting warm. But I cried, I had worked so hard to nurse this baby and to my great surprise I didn’t want to let go yet. I don’t even know what it is, but there is some kind of connection I feel when I nurse my baby, a closeness, a bond, a love, a knowledge that I am giving her of myself something that will give her life, and an understanding that she is still my baby. And now it is over; I am sad.
I completely understand this and I was devastated when each kiddo stopped nursing. I love it so much. It is one of the best feelings in the world and it makes me sad I won't ever be able to do it again.
ReplyDeleteThat is sad! I can't believe she is almost 10 months. It's hard to wean, even when you are good and ready, because all of a sudden it's like the first step to independence. And once they start heading toward independence it seems like they never look back and next thing you know they are all grown up. Sad times!
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